Day 46 (April 30)
White Blood Cell: 8
ANC: 6.7
Platelets: 116
Nothing says “hello” to the world more emphatically than vomiting in the cab ride over to the clinic at 7:30 a.m. Last night was the first night away from the vigilance of a thousand watchful eyes. It was just me, constantly waking up, checking on her, trying to find the best way to give her medication while leaning way over the side of the pak-n-play so i don’t wake her up. Today was clinic day, and I didn’t know I had to bring my own meds for her. For some reason, since her main one is refrigerated, I thought they would have more. I was wrong. They were not pleased with me. What can I do. I also didn’t tell them in time that she needs her dressing change, so now i have to do the dreaded change myself. At least it’s only for a little while longer.
Today, Haley and I walked home. We walked along Madison Avenue, so I could show Haley what world she’s come into. And then, we walked through Central Park. It was a lovely Spring day to get lost a few times. Haley loved the wind in her face; she smiled everytime there was a breeze. It was really a great day to be outside, but I didn’t want to overdo it, this being her first outing in a while, and her first time without her immune system to block out those allergens. So we spent the rest of the day in our new digs. We did pop our heads outside the building in the late afternoon. I held her right outside the building’s entrance and we watched a lot of dog walkers and dogs pass by. Again, it was the breeze in her face that she seemed to enjoy the most. And today, without prompting, without stimulation, she just giggled. For a good minute.
It was definitely hard to do everything myself: take care of her while cleaning like Lady MacBeth, managing her meds, and still organizing things. It’s weird to have to think about constantly washing my hands even when i touch a handle or something. That’s even harder than in the hospital, when I just wore gloves the whole time. We of course watched Oprah, and she actually nibbled on peas and applesauce (together of course).
Guest today was the guy from the pharmacy dropping off more medication. OK, he wasn’t really a guest. But it was a slow day in that regard (luckily, I had a few good friends to keep me company online).
Funny moment of the day was when Haley cooed when Oprah came on.
Giggling for a good minute! What a wonderful feeling that must have been. What a beautiful sound. The walk outside must have been absolutely delightful. Madison Avenue and Central Park are both wonderful. I was a New Yorker for over 15 years, and those are two of the nicer parts. The clinic staff was mean. Boo on them for not making sure your release papers included instructions to bring along the meds.
Hang in there. Each day will be better and bring you closer to home.
Linda
May 1st, 2007 | #
I think Oprah should come with one of those little labels that says “Use only as directed under supervision of a physician.” It’s apparently far more habit-forming than any of the meds.
And not that I’m trying to feed the obsession, but how bout them NUMBERS, huh? Can we get some love for the blood? Someone needs to invite some sort of nano pep squad so that we can do some intravenous cheerleading and give those crazy corpuscles their due.
Hooray for breezes and springtime and freedom and spontaneous giggles and parks and walks in the city. And fine, hooray for Oprah too. But don’t quote me on that one.
May 1st, 2007 | #
Hey Tansy,
I am so happy to hear that you’ve moved onto the next stage (although it will be even more difficult is some ways) – but it’s a necessary stage to fully healing! I’m so happy for Anna that she finally has her family back together again. I can only imagine what it would be like if my kids were separated for 8 weeks.
Hey, do you have Skype or any other form of chat? Since I am 7 hours ahead of you and I’m online most of the day, we could definitely chat during those late hours that you may be awake and the rest of the world around you is sleeping. My Skype screen name is: michal.gorlin.becker. I’d love a chance to chat but I would certainly understand if you have no energy to do so…
I hope the numbers keep up, Haley continues to feel good, and the Spring weather sticks around a while!
Michal
May 1st, 2007 | #
What an absolutely beautiful posting. I was there with you in Central Park, and I swear, I felt the breeze, too. What a brave new world Haley, and you, are stepping into.
I second Linda’s comment. Come on, people! What was the point of giving you grief? Don’t you wonder sometimes why some people pick the helping professions? Thank goodness there seem to be more angels than jerks.
As for Oprah, I never really have liked her much. Now, as far as I am concerned, she deserves the Nobel Prize for keeping Haley happy…Also, love them peas and applesauce. Yum, yum!
AND THE NUMBERS!!!!!! Give me a G-Give me an I-Give me a G-Give me another G-Give me an L-Give me an E—Whadda ya got? GIGGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s what I’m doing in pure happiness ’cause them numbers are looking SO good…blessings and hugs…c-
May 1st, 2007 | #
Why is everyone knocking Oprah? Am I the only fan on this blog (aside from the reason for the season…miss haley)? i am so psyched for haley that she got some amazing fresh air and got to walk through central park…i know it’s hard for you to get used to not having your second skin of gloves, mask and gown but haley must be so happy to see your smiling face all day long (ok, well maybe not smiling all day long (i imagine the smile went away during the puking in the cab) but at least to see your face!
love,heather
May 1st, 2007 | #
Tansy, your blog today brought a big smile to my face, thinking of Haley giggling in the breeze and enjoying the park. It must be a ton of work for you but so happy that Haley is adjusting well to life on the outside and that the girls can see each other a bit. AND I’m very pleased that your blog will continue — thanks for the updates, and so glad you’ll have beautiful weather this week for Haley to enjoy the breezes. love, seema
May 1st, 2007 | #
Those numbers, those numbers! Hooray! Tansy, perhaps Haley get another tick on the platelet counter (each “1″ represents 1000 platelets, right?) for each time you wash your hands. Is the guest situation because of gaps in coverage, or because guests aren’t appropriate now since the environment is different? Just curious.
And as for Oprah, I don’t watch her on TV, but I love, love, love her magazine. And my mother-in-law, who is not a fan of much, is a big fan. Don’t get me started on my real daytime TV addiction, which are the makeover shows on TLC.
May 1st, 2007 | #
Guess Haley recognizes Oprah. You need to write Oprah all about this. We bet she’ll have you both on her show. She would love to feel a part of Haley’s recovery.
How glorious to be out walking in New York! Springtime in Central Park is a treat and Madison Ave. is great for window shopping. We’re just sorry you have to be on your own so much, handling all the little details you used to have help with.
There is no excuse for the hospital sending you “home” without precise instructions on what’s expected on clinic days. Safta said there is a special cab that picks you up. Is it a specially cleaned environment? Do you travel with a barf bag? Hope your next visit to the clinic will be more pleasant. Hope the days and nights get easier and the weather stays beautiful so you can spend more time outdoors.
May 1st, 2007 | #
It must just feel surreal to be able to stroll around Central Park with Haley and look at the doggies! This will be so nice- and helpful for Haley’s recovery I think. Wow- those numbers sure do look good.
What an enormous task you have. I wish I were there to help you with every little thing! Having 2 under regular circumstances is exhausting, so I can only imagine how it feels to have so much on your plate. I hope your walk in the park gave you glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel.
I love how much Haley loves the breeze. Thanks for the lovely visual. It made my day. That and the triple rise in the numbers!
You continue to inspire all of us!! love, Dana
May 1st, 2007 | #
How appropriate that Haley is out of the hospital at this time of year.
Praying that the numbers keep climbing.
Oprah would certainly get a kick out of knowing that Haley cooed and actually nibbled on peas and applesauce while watching her show.
Keep up your terrific resolve…we are so very proud of you.
Love, Sheila & Sherman
PS Hope Anna is doing well!!!:grin:
May 2nd, 2007 | #
Wonderful. Great job on a night well done!
-laura, ben, sarah and jacob
May 2nd, 2007 | #
We are thinking of you guys daily. DC is lonely without you folks. Clare and I pass the park each Shabbat morning and look over thinking that we will see you or Ranan playing with Anna there. Hopefully Haley will join her soon as well, and Anna will show what it is like to play in the sandbox without a coat during the winter.
Love,
Jeremy
May 2nd, 2007 | #